


is confidence in high speed

by skjei



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Getting Together, Light Angst, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 02:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17092382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skjei/pseuds/skjei
Summary: Mitch grins, stupidly, while Auston shakes his head and bites his lip to keep from smiling. He slings his backpack over his shoulder. “You ever gonna get rid of that smile?”Mitch laughs, bumping Auston with his hip as they walk outside. “Why would I when it’s working on you?”Auston almost chokes.





	is confidence in high speed

**Author's Note:**

> { title from "high speed" by coldplay. }
> 
> me not writing jimmy and brady? wow!
> 
> i'm not an avid maple leafs fan (rangers fan here) but i really do love these two so much and i thought i'd write a different pairing for a change. die hard leafs fans: i'm sorry if i got something wrong or left something out. if i did, do tell me, i want to learn more about this team!!!
> 
> also this is slightly inspired by a couple of brady/jimmy fics i've read but i can't remember them so  
> ( slight disclaimer: writers love and appreciate comments :) )

When Auston Matthews visits Toronto for the first time as a Leaf, he doesn’t feel anything special. 

Like, he definitely should, because it’s him. Auston Matthews. First overall pick in the 2016 NHL draft. He’s the guy who _has_ to bring the Leafs success, carry them on his shoulders. The city should intimidate him, considering they live and breathe hockey. But he’s far from home, it’s fucking cold (compared to Arizona), and he’s pretty fucking lonely. 

When he moves into his apartment, Auston feels empty.

It’s the day before training camp, and he’s sitting on his new Ikea couch and he’s bored. He needs hockey to start, he needs a purpose. He needs to get into the mindset of being an NHLer now, and worry about friends later. 

He gets some Chinese delivered to his apartment, eats, and sleeps. Doesn’t give Toronto a second thought. 

When Auston Matthews meets Mitch Marner, he can’t help but smile. 

Mitch just has that energy, that quirkiness to him that no one he’s ever played with before has. And, not to mention, he’s a pretty damn good hockey player. 

After the first day of camp, Mitch asks Auston if he wants to get coffee and Auston agrees before he can even think. 

Mitch grins, stupidly, while Auston shakes his head and bites his lip to keep from smiling. He slings his backpack over his shoulder. “You ever gonna get rid of that smile?”

Mitch laughs, bumping Auston with his hip as they walk outside. “Why would I when it’s working on you?”

Auston almost chokes. 

-

First game comes. Auston scores 4 goals. They still lose. 

He feels high off the adrenalin of an NHL game, and clearly, Mitch does too. Auston can tell by the way Mitch just can’t sit still in the locker room. After all, Auston wasn’t the only one making his NHL debut. It sucks, losing to the Sens, but what can he do. Auston’s walking out of the locker room, ready to meet with his family, when Mitch comes up from behind him, grabbing his shoulders. 

“Are fucking serious, Matts?” Mitch is smiling, and he’s most definitely not mad. 

Auston doesn’t know when the nickname came about, but he’s sure as fuck not going to say anything. 

Auston shrugs Mitch off his shoulders, playfully. Like, he’s an older brother with an annoying younger brother. Friend stuff. Dude stuff. Whatever the fuck. 

“Calm down, Marns,” and Auston just guesses that nicknames are the new normal. Mitch is walking alongside Auston, taking two steps for every one that Auston takes. 

Mitch chuckles. “Fuck you, dude,” he shakes his head. “Here– wanna come over? Watch a movie or some shit? Celebrate your godly NHL debut?” Mitch nudges Auston, letting his words hang between them. Auston opens and closes his mouth. 

“I- I got family tonight, Marns, sorry,” Auston has to mumble, and his tone is odd, he can’t put his finger on it. Mitch looks at his feet for a split second, but Auston pretends he doesn’t see it. He stops walking and Mitch stops with him. 

Auston adjusts his beanie because he feels fucking awkward, and that’s what you do, right, when you feel awkward. “How about after?” Mitch raises an eyebrow. Auston elaborates. 

“Like, the folks and me are going to dinner, but we could, like, hang at my hotel room? After?” Auston sucks at talking. 

Clearly, Mitch doesn’t mind guys that suck at talking, which is good. Really good. 

“Guess I’ll be stopping by,” Mitch says and Auston would give anything to be less awkward right now. Auston opens his mouth to talk. No words come out. Mitch grins, _fuck_. 

“See ya, Matts,” and Auston’s left alone in some hall in the Canadian Tire Centre.

-

Mitch comes over to Auston’s hotel room just after ten and he brings Oreos.

“Ok, what the fuck?” Auston asks, closing the door behind Mitch and Mitch looks at him like he’s crazy.

“I had to bring a snack, and Oreos are definitely the number one thing I have to eat at my place. They’re fucking awesome, Matts,” Mitch sits down on Auston’s couch without an invitation, but, like, it’s not like Auston was gonna give him one. 

Auston rolls his eyes. “You’re literally nine, Marns.” Mitch is biting into and Oreo and chewing obnoxiously loud.

“And?” he asks, mouthful of chocolate cookie, 'and' Auston throws a pillow at him.

-

Two in the morning comes and they’re fucking tired, so Auston let’s Mitch stay over.

They’re a little tipsy, mostly (definitely) because Auston had some random Lite beers in the mini fridge that they got down easily.

“Only got one bed, though,” Auston says as he walks toward his bedroom, back facing Mitch. Mitch smiles.

“You’ve got worse problems, Matts,” he chuckles. 

So they’re in bed, both wearing some random Leafs shirt and they’re shoulders are almost touching. Like, they could be, if Auston just moved a little closer without Mitch notici-

“Fucking awesome game tonight, Matts,” Mitch mumbles, and it sounds like he’s yelling, compared to how still the room is. _Last night_ , Auston doesn’t say, because maybe that would be ruining the mood a little bit. Auston feels tired all of a sudden. He moves onto his side, eyes closed, facing Mitch. His nose touches Mitch’s shoulder.

“You too, Marns,” Auston utters sleepily, and he’s almost a goner. Mitch smiles lazily, looking down at the guy who’s breathing heavily beside him.

“Thanks, Auston,” Mitch smiles into his sleep.

When Auston wakes up, Mitch is gone, but that’s expected. He gets up and his head hurts like hell, whatever. He rubs his eyes before walking into the kitchen, and it’s pretty much empty, obviously.

They finished the Oreos.

-

Auston kind of gets the whole ‘I like a dude’ thing. 

He’s known for a while, since the start of junior year. There was this guy, named Eric (yeah, fuck you, Eric) and Auston played hockey with him and that was that. It wasn’t a big deal, really. His parents didn’t know and Auston was over it before senior year. It’s like when you crave a certain snack- it sounds so good, at that moment, and it’s all you can think about. You don’t worry about the consequences of it, not at all. There’s only a couple of outcomes, either get that snack you’re craving and all is well for a little while, or your left craving it until it dies off. 

Auston was left craving.

-

He doesn’t know when it started happening, but Auston finds him and Mitch sharing a room _constantly_. On the road, they kind of just end up crashing in the same room. It’s not a big deal at all.Like, you find a guy. It works.

Auston and Mitch _work_.

-

They go to Buffalo in mid november and win, 2-1. The team goes out after, and there’s not much Mitch and Auston can do, considering they’re under 21. Fuck the US. 

Naz ends up slipping them a couple of drinks, and they’re good. They aren’t like, attached at the hip, like normal, but Auston doesn’t mind. He’s with- he’s with Naz. Yeah, Naz is good.

Auston lays it low, because, underage. He and Naz are leaning against the end of the bar, and Auston’s got his hands in his pockets. He steals a glance at Mitch, who’s laughing with Willy while Matt’s handing them a drink. He’s smiling because, well, he’s Mitch. 

“Earth to Auston,” Naz is saying, bringing Auston back to reality through his drunken haze. Auston looks at him, exasperated. 

“You look like shit,” is what Naz says to him and Auston rolls his eyes because why wouldn’t he. 

“Thanks,” Auston retorts, sipping whatever the hell is in his glass and stealing a glance at Mitch. He’s not talking to Willy anymore, he's turned to the bartender. The male bartender. Not that _that_ matters, though, like- whatever. 

Mitch’s glass is full. 

Auston double takes, Naz to Mitch. “I gotta tell Mitch something,” he says quickly, abandoning Naz at the end of the bar. Naz doesn’t mind. 

Auston tries not to run over to Mitch. He’s not that desperate. At least- at least he doesn’t _try_ to be that desperate. 

He meets Mitch’s side and he smiles, once he and Mitch make eye contact. Mitch slings his arm over Auston’s shoulder, and he’s out of it. 

“Matts! Fancy seeing you here,” and _god_ , Mitch is such a dork. Auston just smirks, playfully, letting Mitch lean into him more. The bartender is looking at Mitch, not Auston. 

“Matts, this guy here is _David_ ,” Mitch is slurring his words a lot, and Auston makes a mental note that he’s the guy who’s taking Mitch back to the hotel room. 

He wants to say “Fuck off,” but what he really says is “Hey, Auston.”

Mitch leans into Auston and his lips are almost touching Auston’s fucking ear, God. “Isn’t he cute?” Mitch whispers in Auston’s ear and Auston freezes. 

He’s- no. Mitch is- no. But why would he- what the _fuck_. 

Auston gulps while Mitch rests his forehead on Auston’s shoulder. Auston looks at David, who’s bright red. Auston really could flip him off, but he asks for the check and David obliges. 

When they wake up early the next morning, for their flight back to Vancouver, they don’t talk about it. Mitch asks Auston if he wants to add to their Starbucks mobile order, and Auston goes along with it. 

-

They play the Hurricanes later in November, at home.

It’s early in the first when Mitch gets hurt. Not like- not really hurt. But, like, Auston’s fucking concerned. 

Mitch blocks a bullet, and yeah, that hurts. He just gets thrown down to the ice after. Auston’s on the bench, and _fuck_ , Mitch isn’t getting up. 

He wants to get on the ice, help him, when Mitch starts sliding over to the Leafs bench. Auston’s not the next shift, thank God. 

Mo helps Mitch to the bench and Auston wants to push everyone out of the way, but he can’t. He’s stuck, on the other side of the bench, staring at Mitch as he’s leaning over the bench, in _pain_. 

Auston feels a pat on the back, and he’s off the bench and skating without a second thought. 

It’s a short shift, only forty seconds or so. Auston skates right to wear Mitch is sitting on the bench, and he take a seat to the left of him. Mitch is wincing, a little, and Auston can tell he hates that he’s like this. Mitch is never the one to ask for help, not at all. He’s the guy helping people, bundling up his problems if it means that someone else will feel better.

Auston thinks about that for a second. “You good, Marns?” Auston has to raise his voice, mostly because there’s a professional hockey game right in front of them. Mitch doesn’t face Auston, just nods, still in obvious pain. 

“I am now,” Mitch replies, mouth curving up into a smile. Auston’s there, with Mitch, until he’s back on the ice before they both know it.

They end up losing, 2-1, and it’s pretty quiet, the ride back to Auston’s apartment. Mitch doesn’t even consider going back to his own, and Auston’s sure as hell not going to say anything about it. They thank their driver once they get there, and they’re quickly out of the car, and Auston’s walking, taking a few seconds to realize that Mitch isn’t walking with him. Auston turns and he’s limping, and Auston immediately walks back over to him. 

Auston opens his mouth. “Mitch-”

“I’m _fine_ ,” Mitch responds, and Auston knows he gets like this sometimes (experience). Auston just shakes his head while Mitch starts limping toward the lobby. He reaches the door, where Auston pulls it open for Mitch. They say nothing. The doorman isn’t even there. 

Auston looks around. “Here, Marns,” Mitch looks at Auston and Auston figures that he should, you know, help him. He wraps his right arm above Mitch’s waist and Mitch freezes before slowly giving in.

“Here, arm over- yeah, there,” Auston’s words are quiet when Mitch puts his right arm over the shoulder of Auston, grabbing his left one. Auston doesn’t really know if this is helping in the slightest, but he does it anyway. 

Mitch sleeps on the couch while Auston lays in bed, when they make it upstairs. 

-

January 1st, 2017. New year, outdoor game. Centennial Classic, baby. 

Mitch won’t stop buzzing about it. Like, Auston sits with him on the bus ride to the stadium but it’s not long before he’s putting on his head phones and opening Spotify. 

Mitch gets the Leaf’s first goal of the game. The game’s tied. Auston’s fucking ecstatic. Like, why the fuck wouldn’t he be? A beauty, Mitch’s goal was. 

Auston makes it 4-1. Every fan in the stadium expects him to score. Every guy on the Leafs expects him to score. Mitch cheers the loudest. 

The Red Wings tie it with 1.1 seconds left and now Auston’s pissed. It’s like all the confidence they once had is just gone. Down the drain. Like, he obviously won’t blame Freddie, you don’t blame the fucking goaltender. It’s just- 1.1 _fucking_ seconds. They get the pity point. 

And, for dramatic effect, Auston wins it with a little over a minute to go in overtime. He looks for Mitch. 

Auston Matthews, rookie sensation, soon to be all-star, is in a stadium with over 40,000 screaming fans, cheering just for him, and he’s looking for Mitch Marner. 

 

When Auston’s walking out of the arena that night, after the post game interviews (one with Mitch), Mitch is next to him. They walk, quietly, to the bus. They sit together. Auston falls asleep, and his hand is just above Mitch’s knee. Mitch traces his fingers over the creases of Auston’s hand, and Auston can feel it, when Mitch rests his hand over his.

It’s good. They’re good. 

-

They’re good for the rest of the month, part of February. The All Star game comes and goes, playoffs are now in the picture. 

They play the Sabres, at home, and they lose. 3-1. 

3.4 seconds left in the third, Auston gets a shot on net, goalie covers it. Auston kind of skates in, frustrated. Ristolainen shoves him and Auston gets pissed. He doesn’t hear the whistles, or the mild cheering, or teammates saying to let up. Auston goes at him, until Ristolainen’s being pulled away and it’s not the ref.

Mitch is all over him, after skating from behind the net and ripping him off of Auston. Mitch is small, he doesn’t fight. Ristolainen’s, like, twice the size of him. Mitch ends up on the ground, and Auston’s there, hovering over him. 

Mitch is free when the ref pulls his challenger off of him, and Auston skates away when he all he wants to do is stay with Mitch. 

Obviously, they’d lost the game at that point. But Mitch didn’t let up, he was fucking relentless, no matter what. 

Auston think about it when he’s skating off the ice and heading toward the locker room. 

-

They go out after that, just because, and it’s weird. Auston and Mitch hadn’t talked all night. Auston still hadn’t thanked Mitch. He hates himself, to say the least. 

He’s chatting it up with Willy, drink in hand until he eyes Mitch, with his head on _some_ guys shoulder, empty drink in his hand. 

“Oh, fuck,” Auston mumbles, and he leaves Willy standing there. Mitch sees Auston coming, and he stands up straight. He turns toward the bar. He’s not drunk, not enough. 

“Let’s go home, Marns,” Auston says softly, into Mitch’s ear and Mitch closes his eyes, innocently, nodding his head. They swiftly exit the bar, catch a cab and it takes until opening the car door to realize that Auston’s holding onto Mitch’s arm.

Auston hastily tells the driver the address, and then they’re off and Mitch is leaning heavily against Auston’s arm. Auston can smell his breath, it’s like stale beer and strawberry chapstick, the kind that the other guys make fun of him for wearing. Mitch shifts and Auston shifts with him, slightly uncomfortable but he-

“Sorry,” Mitch mumbles, softly, like a child would. Auston looks down at him, then the driver, then him. Mitch. 

“You’re good,” Auston says easily. “You’re good.”

-

Auston wakes up to the news on his TV, it’s Sunday morning, and he feels like seizing the day. Something’s gonna happen. Auston doesn’t recall Saturday night right away, it takes until he’s in the bathroom, flossing (for the first time in probably 3 and a half years). 

Auston storms out of the bathroom, and grabs the TV remote off of the kitchen counter. He mutes the TV. Mitch looks over his shoulder, shifting all the way around when he sees Auston. Mitch isn’t mad, more- concerned, almost. 

“We’re talking about this,” Auston says frantically, and Mitch swallows loudly. Auston runs a hand through his hair, and he feels like there’s a spotlight on him. 

“You’re- you are, fuck. You’re, you know, into-”

“I’m gay? Yeah, I’m aware,” Mitch interrupts Auston from his misery, and Auston walks closer to the couch and Mitch follows him there with his eyes.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me?” Auston asks, but it’s not cold. It’s genuine, but not genuine enough that he doesn’t swear. Mitch shrugs, like it’s awkward but also not a huge deal. 

“Dunno, thought it was- like, obvious,” Mitch’s voice is soft and Auston sits next to him, on his shitty Ikea sofa. When Auston doesn’t speak, Mitch shifts just a bit closer to him. 

“I thought you knew,” he’s almost whispering, at this point, and Auston doesn’t want to breath. 

“I wish I did,” Auston whispers back, and this is so, so, big for him. Not even his fucking parents know and he’s almost coming out to Mitch Marner on his Ikea sofa and-

Mitch kisses him. It’s abrupt but oh my fucking god, Auston kisses back. Mitch is and attacking Auston’s lips until he’s gasping for air between kisses. Auston lets his hand tangle in Mitch’s hair, shivering when Mitch leaves his hands on Auston’s face. Mitch shifts, mid kiss, and he’s on his knees, and Auston doesn’t know why it took him _this_ long. 

They pull back, eventually, and their chests are heaving. Auston looks at Mitch’s lips, how they’re red and wet and swollen, and his hair, tousled and messy and he thinks about how _he_ did that. He just kissed his best friend, Mitch Marner. On the couch, _fuck_. 

“I want this,” Mitch breaks the silence, voice shaky because he’s not sure of his footing and Auston can tell. Auston grabs his hands, intertwines his fingers with Mitch’s. 

“Me too,” Auston feels like he’s yelling, like the world is silent except for him and Mitch and their breathing. Mitch squeezes his hands, tight, and he shuts his eyes. 

Mitch breathes. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Matts,” Mitch says shyly, innocently. Auston doesn’t know what to do, so he kisses him. 

It’s not long, they do it all in one go without a breath of air, and there’s a smacking noise when their lips part. Auston would be embarrassed, with anyone else, but this is- it's Mitch. 

“You’ve got me now,” Auston whispers, bringing his hand up to Mitch’s face slowly, hesitantly. Mitch is smiling once he gets there, and that’s enough for Auston to smile, smile into a kiss on his forehead. Mitch hugs him while he does. 

And Auston doesn’t think that Toronto could be so bad, now that he gets to have this.

**Author's Note:**

> guys i had a tournament for hockey today and tourney games go to ot and i scored the winning ot goal and then took a skate to the chin (below) promptly after! now i'm gonna have a scar like brady skjei, fun!!!
> 
> hurts like a bitch tho. seven stitches. i'm good tho lmAo


End file.
